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Add some punctuation, and you have the sense of it – this is not about a badger drunk on bluebells. Although it is about a badger who looks hammered.

He comes out early every evening – 7.30ish – and makes straight for the easy pickings the chickens have left. He falls over a lot, and doesn’t run but lurches. It’s horribly sad.  We cannot work out what happened to him. Speculation is that he was hit by a car and has brain damage; ate something poisonous but not fatal; is very old (Sarah’s favourite, because she thinks he’s a bit like me – eats anything and trips up a lot); or just disabled.

Over a few days, I’ve left out more corn for him. He stumbles away when I’m around but I think he’s actually getting better. I’ll know he’s fine when he snatches a chicken, so I have to time it right.

The Swallows came back on the same day the first bluebells came out. If I was a Druid I’d read some augury into that, and it would become a well known phrase or saying, passed down through the ages mother to daughter, father to son. ‘When the Swallow come and the Bluebell flower and it be the same rising of the sun, then there be….’ What? I wonder if I could weave the staggering badger into it somehow.

Answers on a postcard please.

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